Marriage is like setting up a company. You do not want to set up a company with someone who has totally different views from you. If you do, your marriage can be likened to a disaster waiting to happen.
A good company hires employees who not only have the qualifications that fit the job description, but they hire employees who will also fit into the company’s corporate culture. In other words do not pick a spouse solely on looks, the amount of money in their wallet or some other physical standard you might have set up. All these in themselves are good. After all I wouldn’t expect you to get married to someone that you are either ashamed of or someone that you are not attracted to. That in its self would be a ridiculous expectation on my part.
However, you also need to consider how or if this person will fit into your visions, goals and purpose. You can start by answering following questions. What has this person got to offer and how does it align with your overall vision and plan for your life bearing in mind that you are supposed to be a team?
Having answered the question you can now decide to either go ahead with your marriage plans or call it quits. It might be painful if you have to quit the relationship but it will be worth every bit of it in the long run. It’s sad to say but COMPATIBILITY in this area is a commonly overlooked feature when choosing a spouse. When people skip this process and they tend run into problems, and we start hearing comments like ‘we are not compatible’, ‘we are getting divorcé’, ‘we have irreconcilable differences’, ‘we do not have the same goals’ and so on. These are things that should be looked into during COURTSHIP instead of running in and out of each other’s legs…… No offense intended for real but there are more important issues to concentrate on besides you’ll have more than enough sex when you get married.
Having said that, it is common knowledge that during courtship people do not let their guard down but after marriage, when they become more relaxed and comfortable, we begin to see them for who they truly are (This act might either be conscious or unconscious). Hence people start asking this question. How do I know that there are no massive skeletons in my proposed spouse’s closet?
Different people have their answers to this question but I will say you need to have the ability to discern.
Stay tuned for more on discernment.
Copyright @ Jaelash May 2012