Divorce truths

I have heard statements like ‘we woke up and suddenly realized that we were strangers’, ‘ I didn’t see the divorce the coming’, ‘if anybody had told me I would be getting a divorce I would have laughed them to scorn’ etc.

Truth be told suddenlys’ and surprises with regards to divorces and separation in marriages are a little bit over rated. Suddenlys’ seem to crop up when you choose to ignore the salient truths that have been staring at you.

The breakdown or destruction of any marriage is a gradual process. It happens by overlooking the little the things that do not seem to matter.

In every marriage or relationship, every negative deviation from the normal trend, regardless of how minute it may be, has the potential to break your home. Have you ever heard the phrase ‘little foxes that spoil the vine’?

Every marriage should be considered a vine that has the potential to yield great fruits or results. When a normal person decides to get married, they do not plan to get married expecting the marriage to fall apart. However, if the desired outcome of the marriage is divorce, it should be considered a success because divorce was part of the original plan.

Just like the owners of vineyards protect their vines (investments) from foxes by making sure that the foxes do not have access to the vines, so do couples have to do all it takes to keep out everything that either threatens or has the potential to threaten your marriage.

Songs of Solomon 2:15 says

“Catch us the foxes,
The little foxes that spoil the vines,
For our vines have tender grapes.”


I love the first line that talks about ‘catching the foxes’. In a marriage you encounter foxes like strife, malice, suspicion, people, un resolved issues etc. You need to make up your mind from the beginning that you wouldn’t let anything come between you and your spouse.

Note to couples:

  • Leave no issues pending or unresolved. All issues must be resolved
  • Confront and address any form of suspicion and make sure all cards are placed on the tables. (This should be done without screaming or yelling at each other.)
  • Be careful in your dealings with people and at all times, remember you and your spouse are to present a united front.
  • Always bear it in mind that there is no issue that is beyond repairs.


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6 Responses to Divorce truths

  1. Toks Adegoke says:

    Awesome write-up ma’am! May God continue to use you as a change agent in this crummy generation.

  2. Pamela says:

    ,Hmmmmmm well said ,couples need to pay attention to this cos truly its thelittle foxes.well done

  3. Isaac'OGod says:

    This is so true.No break up starts suddenly.It’s easy to know when things are going in the negative direction,and make the right decision to turn things around…

  4. Amina says:

    Great piece and a must read! “Leave no issues pending or unresolved. All issues must be resolved”

  5. Of all the things that has broken up marriages, it is the little things which we often neglect, sometimes saying for instance “is it that little thing I said that you are angry about?”

    But it is little things that hurt most, we often forget; we can dodge an elephant but not a fly, a little leak sinks the ship, a little injury on the toe and a big Shaquille O’ Neal can’t dunk a ball, slight mistake and the plane crashes, little stealing and Anini became a big thief, just one little compromise and it becomes a habit… the list is endless. Oh, it is the little foxes that spoil the vine grapes.

    As I think about the things that destroys relationship, I just realized too it is the little things that build it. It that it takes so long to know what is love; its not the big things, but the little things that could mean a lot.

    Just a little apology, just a little phone call, just a little goodwill, a little of everything that is noble and boom! love blossoms, every heart grows healthy and life is beautiful.

    Very Lovely post Jaelash

  6. Monique Ray says:

    Fabulous comments and insight on divorce – – can’t wait to read more, Sarahlyn! ;o)

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