I read a Facebook status update some time ago that said “a successful marriage is made up of two people who know how to forgive” and I just stumbled upon another one that talked about how the inability to let the past go hinders successful marriages.
All these are good and true however whenever I come across messages such as these, my mind goes out to those whose spouses repeatedly commit certain crimes against them and continually seek forgiveness for the same thing.
The fact that someone apologizes over something does not necessarily mean that they have changed.
Anyone seeking forgiveness should be repentant. Repentance involves reviewing your actions admitting they were wrong and making a personal commitment to turn away from such an action. So before you seek forgiveness, be ready to change your ways.
Usually when you seek forgiveness from a spouse, kid, friend or even God the general idea should be this will not happen again. When you seek forgiveness for the same thing over and over again it becomes quite difficult to forgive or let go because this is a constant reminder of your failed promises.
Most times the habitual forgiveness seeker has mastered the art of seeking forgiveness such that they know the soft spot of the offended so they tend to use the soft spot to gain forgiveness.
There is so much an offended person can take and when the person gets to his or her limit you will be tossed aside like a sack of potatoes either physically or emotionally in order words you seize to be relevant to them .
God calls people to change from their negative ways. He calls us to repentance if you change then that’s good but if you do not and you keeping on wasting precious time by the time you are ready it may be too late.
Things to note about repentance
- The longer it takes for you change your ways, the deeper the wounds and the longer it takes to mend broken fences.
- The earlier it takes place, the earlier you begin to foster positive growth and yield good results
Things to note when seeking forgiveness
- You are seeking forgiveness for something you want to stay in the past and not something that keeps reoccurring.
- When seeking forgiveness, you should note that there is a difference between the PAST and PRESENT CONTINOUS. The past is gone and never to return while the present continuous happened in the past, just happened and the habitual forgiveness seeker probably took a break to nurse the guilty conscience for a while and would most likely repeat the crime.
- We are humans and we make mistakes however the PAST is not a habit but the PRESENT CONTINOUS is.
DISCLAIMER: I am in no way inciting unforgiveness between Couples I am only saying that it’s unfair to keep on toying with another person’s emotions all in the name of forgiveness.
Nice thoughts really. Someone continually seeks forgiveness all in the name of reconciliation, but is not ready to stop the ill that lead to such person requiring forgiveness. Turning the page now, as believers in Christ, we are expected to forgive, forgive and forgive(I could gooo on and on). You woud ask, who in the world has the ability to do that, and my answer would be “NO ONE” but “EVERYONE who has the spirit of God(Jesus, the HolySpirit), indwellth in them. If the spirit of Christ couldn’t handle it, he won’t have told us to forgive up to 70 *7 times
Thanks JayRockz. There are people who are spirit filled AKA born again who still struggle with forgiving people who have hurt them over and over again. Like you said Christ did it so we can my Question is this, what are the practical steps a person can take in order to forgive easily. How did Jesus do it
Very well thought out and well written. I agree with the reasoning of the author of this piece. Well done
Its going to be a bit garbled, but Just help me get what am tryna pass across.
The whole concept of Christ and his reality is who we are meant to be.
Start first by imagining the wrong stuffs THE WORLD did against God, and how easy it was for him to forgive, then go slightly further and remember that immediately you believed and confessed that Jesus is lord, you received the spirit of that one who easily forgave your own sins(Bible passage required). Now when you are born again, you no longer operate according to the laws of your mind, flesh, traditions, country etc, but you are operating and living by the law of the spirit(Bible passage required) which as I said earlier is already dwelling in you as a believer in Christ. This spirit requires that we be Just like him, forgive Just as he did.
My pastor, Prince Andrew would say if you find it hard to forgive or to love, you are walking in the flesh. Simply put, for believers in Christ, there are no steps to forgiving, you just forgive, regardless of how insensitive the other person is. It’s easy, if you let the spirit take control of your being.
Our readers would like to know how you let the spirit take control of your being
Lolz, Sarah, really? Anyway its going to be a mouthful, so am Just going to say the bit I know. You let the spirit take control of your being when you listen to and obey every command given by God(the spirit), that’s how you let the spirit control you. You don’t have to start rolling on the floor, muttering stuffs people can’t figure, before you know you are letting the spirit control you. It’s as simple as JUST OBEY.