This post is dedicated to all those out there who at one time or the other have either made some wrong dating choices, made a bad choice of a partner or are currently in a relationship that is headed towards marriage.
The average person wouldn’t wake up one morning see a child molester, wife beater, gold digger, a lazy woman or better still someone with NO FUTURE AMBITION and still get married to such a person.
If such a case exists please seek counseling or send me an email. With divorce rates and unhappy marriages at an all time high coupled with stories such as: “we dated for 2 years and my husband was cool calm and calculated but after we got married he changed and started having anger management problems. In fact his out bursts of anger have become alarming.” Or “Oh my God! She is so lazy and demanding how come I never knew”.
The truth is this, you may have always known. The next question I anticipate from the reader is….. How could that possibly be?
My Response is: If you can be sincere with yourself and think long and hard enough in most cases you will agree that these character traits that are being exhibited by your spouse have already been displayed prior to marriage in one form or another but in tiny bits and you ignored them. I guess you assumed you could handle them.
Whenever your dating, courting or doing whatever you are doing I would advice that whenever you come across strange character traits, always pause and ask yourself if can handle it or how you are going to be able to handle it if this trait ever gets fully blown.
Let’s say you are getting married to a well known player, chances are that he might still be a player when he gets married to you. NOTE I am not saying he will be cheating on you. The key WORD here is MIGHT.
Likewise a lazy woman or man. Do not expect him/her to become hard working over night. I mean it’s possible for the person to change over time.
Now lets take a look at a different scenario where guy or lady who is too busy with work to spend time with you during courtship. Now you do not need a prophet to tell you that this is an obvious red flag. If you can handle the loneliness by all means please ride on.
These are only words of caution and not absolutes. My advice to you is weigh all your options and leave no stones un turned before you leap.
Note at the end of the day no one is perfect and I am not saying that because you find some character flaws in your proposed spouse you should quit the relationship all I am saying be careful in making your choices and know the character traits you think you can handle or those you know that you can’t accept and take it from there. For example there are guys who can’t stand ladies that are lazy or filthy in that case it would be adviceable for you to let such a lady go. Likewise there are those who wouldn’t mind a lazy lady because they do not mind cleaning up after her or doing the household chores. Again it’s all about choices.
Finally, do not get married to an ungodly spouse and expect them to be Godly. If you get married to them they may or may not change and even if they do change you may have to go through a really crazy path for that to happen. Hence its a lot easier to just get married to a Godly spouse.
Copyright@ Jaelash May, 2012